That ominous feeling. I've had it before. This time-do I choose to ignore?
Wow. Hard eye roll on that
I’m frustrated at my inability to articulate, what I’m saying - frustrated about even for a moment being misunderstood. Satan planted a seed in me today. But it won’t grow. A man touched my shoulder, scaly. Or maybe he was struggling with a pornography addiction, he was creepy. He was bad. Why can’t we just say ‘that person gives me the creeps” and be okay. We are always apologizing, or saying “they’re not so bad.”
Thats how the devil creeps in. If someone’s creepy, prickling your skin at their sight. An ennui kicks up - they’re not good. Let them be not good, and notice: is the devil using them for something negative - in this congregation? Oh yeah - I’m talking about a congregation.
If I were the devil, I’d send my people to the front lines. The easiest places to attack. He’s invisible anyway, and people aren’t looking for him there - if at all. Hiding in plain sight. No wonder people don’t like churches, I don’t either.
at least not this one, today. I’ve been feeling bad, creepy, crazy, demonic ever since walking out of those doors. I never felt that way, when I’m alone with the spirit, or in a room that’s pure. Imagine if you didn’t know the difference.
We’re caught in a spiral of a hundred different forces, and the evil one uses his elixirs of different fragrances, it’s confusing. God - and the relationship with Jesus, is the recentering for me.
But what about Art: or, The Do.
I am finishing these five canvas, using them as a practice, preimptive towards: drummmrolllllll a November (pre thanksgiving) show!!!!!! I’m figuring out the message, and I have a twinge of an idea for style, but that will be more fully formed based on what I learn from painting these 5. I don’t even know what medium I’m using for sure for sure.
Motivation to power through these last 4 canvas, and soak up the process (of these) with no stress, so I can do a SHOW with some crisp paintings.
Knowing that even though it will feel dysfunctional, it will be after painting a lot in a short amount of time. Diamond, voila.
Hmm - maybe 🤔 the theme will be Spiritual Warfare...Hiding In Plain Sight. Ha. No. Such a downer. God will provide the narrative if it’s His will it will happen - and be a success!